Monday, November 28, 2011

My first fill!

I had my first fill today.  I found out I have a 10 cc band, the smaller one apparently.  They put in 2.5 cc today.  I was so nervous about it, but everything went fine.  My doctor's office uses an x-ray to find the port and then they make you drink barium and take pics to make sure you can pass things through.  They showed me the picture of my port and the picture of my stomach as the barium went through.  As nasty as it was to drink the barium, checking out my insides was kind of cool.

I'm on liquids until tomorrow then pureed for 5 days.  Bummer to have to go back to these things, but once I get back to solids I'll be there for a while this time!

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Weekly Weigh in Saturday 11/26/11

Down one pound from last week!  Considering that the last time I exercised this week was Monday I am amazed.  I was hoping to just stay the same as last week. 

Thanksgiving went really well.  I knew what we were having and I mentally planned what I would be putting on my plate before we got there.  It is amazing how eating slowly helps you to enjoy the food more and to get full easier.  Previously I would have barely tasted the food as I shoveled it in my mouth, then gone for seconds, thirds, etc.  I even allowed myself a sliver of pecan pie.  I love pecan pie, it is my favorite.  I usually have a huge piece, and then another, with ice cream.  This year I had the tiniest piece, not even close to a whole slice of pie.  I was amazed after I ate it extremely slowly how I enjoyed it and was satisfied.  Intellectually I know these things as I've dieted my whole life, but it still has the ability to amaze me.

Exercise has been hard for me this week.  I went to an aqua class on Monday, but since then I haven't done anything.  My boyfriend has been sick, and his coughing and snoring has not allowed for the best night's of sleep.  I'm waking up tired and not motivated to exercise.  After work I've been busy with holiday preparations.  None of these are good execuses, but they are the reasons.  Starting today I'm getting back on the exercise wagon.  BF is feeling better, so sleep should get better too.

Ok, I think I've rambled enough for one long boring blog.  I hope everyone had a fantastic Thanksgiving! 

Monday, November 21, 2011

Learning to handle the comments

I've never been good at taking compliments.  Maybe its a fat girl thing, maybe its just a me thing, or some combination thereof.  Either way, compliments put me at the center of attention, and I HATE to be the center of attention.  My family gave me a surprise party for my college graduation, and I hated every minute of it.

Now that you have the background of just how much I hate compliments and being the center of attention, let me tell you about how it has been at my job.  Any time I see someone I haven't seen in a while I get...."You look great."...."Are you losing weight?"....."What are you doing to lose weight?"

Today I was heating up some chicken and vegetables at the bank of microwaves in the cafeteria.  A woman that I know, but never worked with and don't know that well said...."Is that all you are eating?  That isn't enough food".  I just said, oh there is more chicken in there than you think and walked away.

It is starting to get to me, all the comments.  I'm not sure how to handle it really.  I try just saying thank you, and move the conversation along, but that doesn't always work.  I know these people are just being nice, but it makes me just want to go hide in a corner.  I know I can't do that, so I'm hoping everyone will just get used to it soon and stop commenting.  A girl can hope!

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Weekly Weigh In Saturday 11/19/11

3/31/11 Starting Weight 378
10/6/11 Surgery Weight 313
11/12/11 Last Weight 294
11/19/11 Current Weight 288

I was very excited this morning to discover I had gotten rid of 6 lbs. since last week!  My mini goal of reaching 100 lbs down by Christmas is definitely looking attainable.

I get my first fill on 11/28, and I'm conflicted about it.  I went to support group on Wednesday and I said how I've been doing well and not hungry, and the nurse that runs the group suggested maybe I don't need a fill yet.  What?!?  My band isn't even doing anything for me yet.  If I don't need a fill, why did I get surgery?  This has been swirling around in my head since she suggested it.  It has me questioning everything...which of course is what I do anyway. 

I decided I'm going in for the fill.  I'm sure they will give me the minimum fill, and I'll see what this band can do.

I got the first edition of Just Dance for the Wii.  Maria has been talking about how good it is, so I decided to try it.  Let me tell you, that game kicks my butt!  Talk about cardio.  The good thing though is that I love to dance, so I love the game.  Working and out and having fun at it means I will keep doing it!

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Saturday weigh in....down 4 lbs!

Saturday is my weigh in day, because I was driving myself crazy weighing in every day.  Well this morning the scale registered 294...down 4 lbs from last Saturday.  Between this and getting off my blood pressure meds I am over the moon! 

I am actually a little scared of getting my first fill on 11/28!  I'm afraid I'll have trouble getting in enough calories and things will start to slow down again.  Can you tell I'm a bit of a pessimist?  LOL...excited and scared at the same time, kind of sums me up!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Another Fantabulous NSV!

Today I had a follow up appointment with my primary care physician.  When I was in the hospital they had changed my blood pressure medicine and they wanted me to follow up in a month.  Well they only gave me a 30 day supply with no refills, so I've been without meds for 4 days.  My doc checked my blood pressure and it was 118/80 without meds!  He said I no longer have to take the meds, and he wants me back in 6 weeks to check again.  I am so excited!  I love taking less medicine and not having high blood pressure anymore!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Waiting for the other shoe to drop

Before I get to my title topic I have a blog tech question to ask.  For the last week or so whenever I make a comment I have to re-log in, and if there is a word cert I have to re-log in twice.  Also, I no longer see the follow option when I go to someone's blog for the first time.  I've gotten a couple of new followers, but I can't follow them.  Any tech advice from blogland?

Ok, now on to my title topic.  At this point in my journey I am doing very well....eating the right foods in the right amounts, getting in my exercise and not feeling deprived or hungry.  However, this is how it has always been in the past when I've dieted.  I am great for a while, sometimes many months, and then IT happens.  I can't exactly explain what IT is, much like the Stephen King based movie where the IT was a scary clown AND a giant spider it defies explanation.  Unlike King's IT, my IT is in my head.  It is some crazy switch that gets turned on, or maybe it is off.  Either way, I go from happily going along leading a healthly lifestyle to a crazed craving machine that can't shove food in my face fast enough!

I don't just fall off the wagon, I jump off the wagon and then turn around and pour kerosene on the wagon and light it on fire with a blow torch!  Once the wagon has been disintegrated into ashes I say, what wagon?  Because there is no turning back at that point.  I of course inevitably gain back all of the weight I had gotten rid of and then add some more.

So now here I sit after having had my morning walk, eating my oatmeal wondering, when will IT appear???  Will the band help me fight IT?  If I go crazy and shove pizza in my face the band won't let me get very far right?  I hope against hope that is the case.  It is why I got the band in the first place.  For now I'm taking one day at a time.

On another note, I discovered a great NSV yesterday.  A once unattainable position in the boudoir because of my largeness has now become very attainable!  Woo Hoo!!!  Is that TMI???

Ok blogsters, need to get to work now.  Hope everyone has a fantabulous day!

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Hanging out in Twoterville!

So as planned I waited until Saturday to weigh myself.  Luckily it paid off as I was 298, still under 300!  I'm very excited by this, and plan to keep weighing myself just once a week as it seems to work so far.

Been working on amping up the exercise a bit.  In addition to my morning walks I'm doing either Wii Gold's Gym cardio, stationary bike, or aquatics class.  I'm also trying to get in more calories, as I am still struggling to get enough according to myfitnesspal.  So far things are going good, but I've been on this road in the past, and I'm just waiting for something to snap and my routine to fall apart!

Shout out to Maria....miss you too girl!  Have fun in Florida but come back soon!!!!

Ok all, need to get my butt to my swim class....have a great day!

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Back to work

Wednesday I went back to work for the first time in 4 weeks.  Wow, it felt like I never left!  I can't believe I was gone a whole month, it went so quick.  Everyone was very sweet welcoming me back with decorations in my cube and flowers.  Then, the comments.  "You look great".  "I can't believe how good you look".  Etc.  I am horrible with compliments....standard fat girl thing.  Most everyone knowing I went out for lap-band surgery just makes things worse.  I feel like they expected me to come back like I was at the Biggest Loser.  I can't even believe them when they say I look good, even though I know in my head they mean it!  Wow, so many issues, so little time.

At least so far my food at work has been working out.  I've been planning pretty well and packing my food and making sure I'm eating every few hours.  Also getting lots of water. 

Since I made it under 300 the other day I've decided to weigh myself only once a week instead of every day.  At least for now.  I can't stand the idea of the disappointment if I fluctuate back to 300 the next day.  Hopefully when I weigh myself on Saturday I'll be under 300.  Keeping my fingers crossed!

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Under 300!

This morning I weighed myself and I was 299.8!  Finally under 300!  I hope it stays that way, my weight has been funny the last couple of weeks.  Even if I can maintain before getting my fill I'll be happy.