Friday, April 27, 2012

Fill 'er up

Well I got my third fill on 4/16.  I had gotten up to 284 lbs when I weighed myself the morning of the fill.  Today I weighed myself and I'm down to 268!  I'm thinking the fill is doing its job.  I'm up to 4.5 cc.  The nurse looked at my restriction from the scans of my last fill and said you could drive a truck through it.  Usually they don't do more than 1 cc at a time, but she recommended I get 1.5.  I was really tight at first, and wasn't sure if they had gone a little too aggressive.  It seems to have loosened up a bit now, but I am still getting used to this more intense restriction.  Before this I didn't feel like the band had really done anything for me, but now I feel like it is doing the job it was intended to do.  Here is hoping I finally have the tool I need!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Filled with regrets

I haven't blogged since January, and didn't think I would blog again.  I'm not sure what is compelling me now.  I go for my third fill tomorrow, but I am not holding out much hope.  I have been quite depressed and sort of regretting getting my lap band surgery.  I had gotten down to 269 pounds, and now I am back up to about 282.  This surgery hasn't been any different than any other diet I have been on.  I am completely gung ho and successful for a while, and then I crash and burn.  I don't feel like the band has done anything for me, except to occasionally make me hurt and vomit.  I can't seem to get my head back in the game, and I know the surgery does nothing for your head, so why the hell did I do it?  I can't seem to come up with a good answer for that these days.